Maddy’s Guide to Weeds and Pests

Alas, gardening involves more than sunshine and love. Sometimes the gardeners find themselves in conflict with the other creatures who live in the garden. Unwanted plants strangle our crops. Dirty crawly things lay eggs on our squashes and infect our harvest with exotic diseases.

Intrepid scientist Maddy Rosamond has compiled a list of the most aggravating pests and weeds we find at the garden. If you learn to identify them you will be better prepared to destroy them mercilessly and without compassion.

Bindweed

Bindweed is everywhere at the garden. It can be identified by the narrow leaves and its viney nature. Its roots are thin and white.

It has beautiful white flowers, but do not be fooled: it will strangle you in your sleep.

Thistles

These spiny miscreants will hurt you if you touch them without gloves. They have a taproot that can be pulled out if you loosen the soil with a trowel. They were a big problem a few years ago but now they are under control.

Dandelions

Oh dandelions. You’re so useful, and yet so maligned. People organize festivals for you, but at the same time we really don’t want you spreading your roots throughout our garden. Why don’t you go live on some hippie’s lawn and leave us alone?

Truth be told, dandelions are not a major problem at the garden, but as any suburbanite knows they can take over, and their taproots stay pretty well entrenched in the soil.

Grass

Go away, grass. You are not welcome here.

Cucumber Beetles

These tiny striped bandits are dangerous because they carry diseases that cause plants to wilt and die.

Cucumber beetles lay clusters of eggs on the undersides of leaves.

Pigweed

Pigweed is pretty easy to keep under control when it is young, but if you show leniency it will grow to a big woody plant that releases thousands of seeds everywhere.

Pigweed is in fact edible, although it is not that delicious. It will probably taste pretty good when the apocalypse hits and the Food Wars begin, though.

Lambs Quarters

Like pigweed, lambs quarters are pretty easy to keep under control when they are small and tender. Unlike pigweed lambs quarters are delicious and spinachy, especially when small and tender. You can eat the leaves off the bigger woody plants as well, but it takes lots of work to pick them.

Purslane

Purslane grows low to the ground, and is fairly pretty with its green leaves and red stems. It proliferates in the garden, but is pretty easy to keep under control.

Purslane is yet another edible weed. It is not bad eaten raw as a green, but it is mucilaginous.